Our hero, with a lifelong dream to transform the world, using the marketing reach of Beauty Pageants. She’s smart – but her plans and understanding of the world are overcomplicated. At heart she’s a good person. Not naïve but optimistic. She has a tragic weakness for puppies, which belies her woman-of-the-world exterior. She will change her mind or try something new, but only if she sees a good reason for doing so and will never allow herself to be coerced or bullied. She will dance with the devil, if that’s what it takes, but she’s never cynical. Fresh, mostly self-ware.

Raquel is a career officer in the Interstellar Lizard Military. This (shambles of a mission) is probably her last. She was on career trajectory toward lizard General until this. She’s deeply annoyed at their failure, and even more annoyed that their clear orders to evacuate are being ignored. Raquel’s demeanour can be biting and verges on times at bitter, but she at heart is a good soldier and believes in the cause. She’s frustrated at the incompetence of her crew. She doesn’t personally dislike Tina but sees her as an obstacle. Quietly, or perhaps not so quietly, she’s a dominatrix.

Deeply, deeply in love with himself. He is genuine in his belief that others must also love him just as much. Big natured, flamboyant, sexually overconfident and optimistic to his core, Guy is all about experiences. He will bend or break rules as he sees fit but will never overtly disobey the Overlord. He believes in the mission to colonise Earth, and is deeply impressed by his own genitalia – and wants to share the experience with pretty much anyone else, regardless of species or gender.

The Overlord is a tired middle manager just playing out her time until retirement. She’s been in the conquering business for hundreds of years, and this whole debacle with Earth can’t end soon enough. She’s actually pretty nice, and more of a collaborator than leader, (which drives Raquel crazy). At one point in her past she was a firebrand, but now she’ll be content with just getting off the mission. In truth, she quite likes Earth and its people.

Utterly crazy. Something went very wrong with Klaus a long time ago, and although he’s retained his scientific genius, he’s now in it for the vivisections and drugs as much as anything else. Like the rest of the invaders, he’s actually pretty nice and will in his naïve way want to help. He’s prone to completely random outbursts and odd word associations. He’s oblivious to his differences from the others and views himself as a critically important team member. He self-medicates. A lot. There’s some debate around where he picked up his accent. Probably by watching too much Hogan’s Heroes.

Very Phantom of the Opera. Very English. Formerly an active investigator, but now, as a result of his constant exposure to the lizards and their plans he’s gone slightly insane. He thinks of himself as the hero, the saviour of humanity. In his mind, there’s always a spotlight on him. Self-important and grandiose, he’s actually somewhat of a coward and will eagerly delegate risky tasks. With his undercover role of janitor, he understands the truth of the Lizard’s mission but secretly wants to subvert it to his own ends.